Tag: Rhymes

#PoeticAnswers 99 – Are You Sure We Exist?

I think that I think I exist.
If thinking equals being,
Then I think that I exist.
But it’s not a conscious
Decision to will myself
Into this existence
And this is evident by
The persistent indecision
That I find myself facing
On a daily basis.

Because I’ve lived
My life thinking
“I think, therefore I am”
But I find I am in
A constant battle of
Positive versus negative
And logic dictates
I wouldn’t wish it
Upon myself so
Who did?

How would I know
If this wasn’t just
Some kind of crazy,
Inconsistent coma dream
From one too many
Car crashes, causing
Flashes of different lives
To flash across my eyes
In a systematic series of
Fortunate and unfortunate events.

Maybe this isn’t even me,
Maybe I’m someone else’s
Fantasy or hallucination,
A nighttime thought creation
Or process of dissociation,
A cultivation and culmination
And overall manifestation
Of stress and frustration
Or a figment of a
Perfect stranger’s imagination.

But at the risk of waxing existential,
I don’t think we’ve considered
The absolute potential of
Being part of an extraterrestrial
Game of The Sims.
Being trapped at the whims
And mercies of martians
Or deities who let us
Virtually have no control
In our lives.

Question from Justine F. from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 90 – Why Do We Drive On Parkways And Park On Driveways?

It could be because it’s because
They are the way to their destination,
Driving on a parkway on our way to park,
Parking on a drive way before it leads to the road to drive on.
And maybe this sounds like poetic drivel
And like I’m trying to drive a point home
But the truth is:
The English language doesn’t make sense.

The whole thing has gone down in flames
Because flammable and inflammable
Both mean the same.
My nose has done more running than my legs
And I’ve seen people play more football with my hands.
And don’t get me talking about spelling
Because in Scotland and England
Spelled is spelt spelt but to an American
Spelt isn’t spelled spelt, it’s spelt spelled and
Although I’m very thorough with my reading,
Trying to read in Reading makes reading a bit tougher to do.

I thought I knew the English language,
But today I learned something new,
I am not all that learned in the English language,
I think I’ll switch to French,
Now adieu.

Question from Molli T. from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 88 – You Coming To The Pub?

I’ll pop out for just a drink,
I won’t stay out too long,
If we hit up the karaoke bar
I’ll stay for just a song.

I’ll stay out for just another,
I enjoy the company
And the liquor and the ambience-
Hold on, I need to pee

I’m down to my last twenty pound,
I think that that’s my lot.
The manager’s buying the next round?
Barkeep, what whisky have you got?

Oh god, who bought the tequila?
Why am I drinking gin?
Why are there no Jaegerbombs?
Is the room starting to spin?

I think I’ve lost my wallet,
And I’ve missed the midnight train.
I’ll see you in the office on Monday.
Next Friday, same again?

Question from a work colleague. I went to the pub. I didn’t drink. It was a good evening.

#PoeticAnswers 87 – How Do I Get My Children To Flush?

Through a vast amount of trial and error,
I’ve found a way to make
My three foot terror
Flush the bloody toilet.

After many tries to be inventive and
Failed offerings of food and cash incentives,
The little buggers now
Flush the bloody toilet.

And though they didn’t react
When I put them up for adoption,
The little bastards now have no option but to
Flush the bloody toilet.

Now thanks to gravity and super glue,
I don’t have to see their number ones or twos.
Now the only thing that they can do is
Flush the bloody toilet.

Question from Kristin S. from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 82 – Are You A Poet?

I know it seems hard to believe
That I wear my heart and soul on my sleeve
And my vocal chords and
Stand up in front of my fellow humans
And regale them with poetic tales
And awful rhymes about
My time on this earth.

Because I don’t fill the traditional mould,
I’m not young enough to be fresh on the scene
And I’m not old enough to be established
And I’m not clean shaven enough
Or too beardy to seem as wordy
As I try to be.

And I don’t have a degree in English
From a top university like Edinburgh or Cambridge,
I went to a uni out of sight and mind
And studied sound and lighting design
So I understand the quiet rage
That some people have when I step on the stage because
I spent years trying to hide from it.

And I don’t have a beret
Or skinny fit jeans
Or a memory strong enough
To remember my own poems and
It feels like I’m in a dream because
After this I have to go back to the
Corporate machine and

I don’t have books of Wordsworth or
Shakespeare and I don’t write every day and
It gives me the fear that I’m a fraud and
All of this will disappear like
Chalk on a pavement or rational thoughts into a beer so
I’ll take this neuroticism and use it to
Justify all my actions and make this seem real, so

Yes I am a poet because
I’ve got crippling depression and
And a a tormented childhood
And a mental state that barely exists
And I’m not afraid to show it and
That makes me a troubled artist.
So yes, I am a poet.
But I’m not sure I know it yet.

Question comes from a work colleague who didn’t realise what I do as a sideline.

#PoeticAnswers 80 – Why Do You Continue To Eat Dairy When You Know We Will Both Be Choked Out Of The Room Tonight?

How can you complain about choking
When you are slowly suffocating me
With these dietary restrictions?
When we met, I thought it was feta
But I cheddar known better.

It’s not an addiction,
I could give it up anytime I want,
I just don’t want to.
But you seem determined to milk this for all it’s worth,
And it’s grating on me that you’d put your needs first.

You’re not the first person to complain,
My father was just as intolerant as you,
When he took away my cheese, I thought “how dairy”.
It was for my own Gouda and would change the condition
Of my allegedly toxic and deadly emissions.

I thought you’d have sympathy and kindness
But it appears you lactose and
Now we are at an impasse because
You won’t compromise because you can’t
See my emotions and needs on another level.

They don’t get pasteurise.

Question from Sarah M. from Facebook