Tag: Performance

Don’t Call It A Comeback (or do, I can’t really stop you).

So this is the first real Fringe I’ve done anything in since 2019, and it has been a festival of weird accidents from start to finish.

It started end of July when I broke my leg, and I genuinely thought I’d have to pull out of the festival. I did not. I kept to the show I had commited to, where I thought I’d just be a stage manager and just occasional have to awkwardly appear on stage every now and then.

Instead, I have ended up being a performer and stage manager, all on crutches, doing quick quips and CLOWNING of all damn things. The last 2-3 nights, that show has ended up with 30+ audience members chanting my name, and being recognised in the street and being heckled by audience members who have seen the show before. Tonight during that show, I led the entire audience in karaoke version of I Believe In A Thing Called Love. You had to be there.

Then earlier today, I got a message asking if I’d like to cover a show for the week as the original host had to pull out. Its supposed to be a showcase of spoken word/mixed bill sort of thing. I’ve done those shows before. Sure, I’ll run a week long show for the Free Fringe with 8 hours notice! What could go wrong?

It was short notice and no other acts turned up. But the audience did.

So I downloaded the poems from my old Edinburgh Horror Show, and accidentally did my first ever solo Fringe show. I’ve not done a solo show since coming out as trans, I’ve done a couple of variety nights but never a solo show. And honestly, I never thought I’d do another solo show again because of transitioning because of a fear of judgement/persecution/transphobic arseholery.

But tonight I did it, I did a full show an audience of 6 complete strangers. They actually loved it. People willingly put money in the bucket for a poetry show that no one knew anything about, 2 people cried (which is my personal hallmark of victory to make at least one person cry). I felt confident, in control, and felt like my most complete self for the first time ever.

(Also, technically that show was so last minute that there were no posters or flyers for the show, and I live local, so therefore have no overheads and have technically made a profit at the Fringe which is absolutely bizarre and hilarious).

Anyway, come along to Banshee Labyrinth at 8.15pm for the mysterious PBH Spoken Word Showcase where I have no idea what’s going to happen on until the moment the show starts and then come see The Ritual at 9.30pm in the same room for Extra Emilie in your life.

‘We All Have Fears’ – Done!

So, this past year I feel I’ve managed to go from strength to strength. This is due to the following things:

  1. I’ve managed to get out and make new friends and rebuild some old friendships.
  2. I’ve started to build momentum on the Scottish spoken word scene. People recognise or have heard of me now, and that’s weird.
  3. I’ve got a small, fantastic fan base that just keeps to be building.
  4. I’ve had my first paid poetry gigs. Hot damn, people actually want to book me and pay me for this stuff.

And finally, on top of this, I mnaged to write, direct and perform my first, full length solo poetry show. And it was received well. I’ve had constructive feedback and know how to work on it. I reckon it may end up hitting up the Edinburgh Fringe next year.

I’d like to thank everyone who had helped, my friends Ross, Isla, Heli and Oliver, Theresa, Dave, David, Gemma, Ricky and everyone else who came to the show or helped or listened to me rant or kept me sane with cups of tea, my sound guy, Graham, and my graphic designer, Ash.

A huge thanks goes to Edinburgh Horror Festival for opportunity to debut this show.

A hundred thank yous go out to the Amanda F*cking Palmer Official Page group for helping with the research for the show.

Further thanks go out to Stage Time Productions for their review of the show (that you can read here!)

And finally, thank you to all of you. You who have been reading and commenting away. Thank you for your support and dedication.

Upcoming Show: We All Have Fears!

So I’ve been quiet on here for the last little while, but it’s all been for a good reason, I swear!

It’s because I’ve been working on my first ever full-length, solo show, which debuts at the Edinburgh Horror Festival this Friday!  Banshee Labyrinth at 6.00pm!

I’m scared and excited for this!  A mix of some old and new material all neatly packaged in a strange little box.  I have no idea how well this is going to go, but I’ll definitely be keeping you all posted!  Who knows, I might even create a nice little book from this, or post up a video or poem or two!

#PoeticAnswers 95 – When Did You Realise How Good You Are?

It’s was never exactly obvious,
It was more like the longest
Dawning of the day, except
It wasn’t a twenty-four hour
Turn-around time for it to
Come around, it was more like
Several years of night skies and
Never shining out of the darkness.
Feeling a sort of substandard
That could only be applauded
By best friends and parents.

But since starting to write
And stage these poems,
I’ve seen real people,
Rooms of strangers
Clinging onto every word,
I’ve heard them laugh,
I’ve hugged them when they’ve cried,
I have had statements from people stating
That they can relate to
The work that I’m making.
Even though it’s not anything
Particularly groundbreaking,
The fact that it can actually
Mean something to someone.

This never happened overnight,
I never expected any of this,
I never expected to find this bliss
Or happiness in performing
Poetry.
I never imagined feeling
Good about myself or
Having other people
Appreciate and listen.
It doesn’t feel real,
It doesn’t feel every day,
But in this moment of
Existential realisation,
I’ve come to realise:
I’m pretty fantastic.

Question from Megan C. from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 94 – How Did Your Gig Go?

I wore my heart and soul
On my sleeve and vocal chords.
My heart jumped out my throat
And my soul dripped onto the floor
Like invisible rain,
Letting me get out the pent up rage
And depression that has
Inspired and incentivised
My life’s work.
Or at least my work from the past few months,
Because I’ve been writing everyday
For a hundred days.
It feels like a hundred seconds,
And tonight felt like a hundred minutes
As I took my time to tumble and stumble
Over each carefully crafted word and rhyme
That took a hundred hours of my time
To piece together like a jigsaw that
Didn’t want to be solved.
The audience listened but
I don’t know if they heard the
Meanings and cries for help
Dispersed among the one lines
And stanzas of depression-infused
Derivative metaphors.
But I stood on the stage,
And I got to speak.
I spoke like a man too afraid to stop speaking,
Too afraid for the stage lights to fall,
To afraid to lose the moment and
Get lost in the moment.
Adrenaline and benzodiazepine
Running at the same time,
Dancing with each other
To an off-beat rhythm that they’re both playing.
I stood on the stage
And I felt alive.
And it felt fantastic