Tag: love

New music! (Also, sorry for not posting anything for a year)

Hi! I’ve been quiet! I’m so sorry! It’s been a hell of a year and being creative has been hard. I miss being able to be routinely creative but I’m happy to just take it as it comes just now, especially when it’s something I’m as proud of as this!

Tigress is a love poem I wrote a while back, and I’ve always wanted to do more spoken word and music stuff and this has slowly evolved from loose ideas over the last few months, and I’m super happy to share it!

Is it perfect? No.

Is perfection overrated? Yes, 100%

I’m not putting the pressure on myself to create perfect art, I’m just wanting to create and share and do things again, and that’s enough for now. The important thing is not to put pressure on yourself, this is a weird time for us all and “normal” is still a very long time away, we’re learning what normal has to mean for us as individuals and learn what we need to do for ourselves. With time, practice, routine, and positive mental health, we’ll all have even more Things to share, and I’ll be back posting weird stuff on here more often!

Hope you like the track. Take it easy and look after yourself.

NaPoWriMo Day 8

(Today’s poem is a surprise sequel to my magnum opus (ha!) “Dear Ms Pacman“)

I never gave you enough credit.
I poured my soul out on Reddit
I always thought it,
But I never said it:

Dear Ms Pacman, I love you.
And I’m sorry.

In the near perfect pie chart of our love
There was always a piece missing;
A missing slice, an open wound;
A hole that you could never fill,
So I became addicted to fruit and pills.
I began to chase ghosts
And run from the past
So I guess, overall, I was kind of an ass.

Dear Ms Pacman, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for ghosting you,
I treated you like you were a game,
You were supposed to be cherished
But instead I won you then threw you away,
Like something I could come back to i
If I had the time,
But now you’ve left and
There’s no changing your mind.

Dear Ms Pacman, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for treating love
Like something you can get a high score in.
You deserved so much more than me
But I wouldn’t set you free because
I was determined I could make you happy
And kept you beside me,
Tied in an emotional Gordian knot
Until you cut yourself free.
.
Dear Ms Pacman,
I’m sorry.

@ Emilie C.Black, 2020

NaPoWriMo Day 4

Darling,
Dear sweet darling,
I’ve been dreaming for decades
For the day I could say my
Deepest, darkest feelings for you.

But I’ve let this drag on for too long
With these feelings so strong
This could all go so wrong
But I’ve known all along
I love you.

Dearest and sweetest,
Spyro the Dragon
I open my heart and
I raise this flagon to you
Because you are my world;

This isn’t a lie,
I’m just really shy
But I feel the sparx fly
When you walk by,
Won’t you please be my guy?

You’re a gem,
You’re a catch,
In your claws,
You have snatched
And stolen my heart away.

When I’m lying in bed,
The only thought in my head
Is my cute quadruped
And the day that we’re wed;
I feel my cheeks burning red because

You’ve set my heart on fire,
You’re my every desire.
My love is for hire
But if you don’t require me,
I guess that’s okay.

You’re a hero,
A wanderer,
My brave purple warrior.
Before I start crying,
Please, just fly away.

© Emilie C. Black, Apr 2020

#PoeticAnswers 96 – How Do You Say “I Love You”?

Sometimes.”I love you”
Isn’t something I can say.
Sometimes it’s just an
Outstretched hand in an awkward silence
Or a look of admiration in a moment of pride.

I say “I love you” in
Early morning cups of coffee and
Unexpectedly ironed bedclothes.
In unsolicited text messages and
Midnight instant messenger conversations
And emails of kittens at work.

I say “I love you” in
Long walks in the sunset
And sacrificed jackets in the rain.
In shared tears and
Inappropriate laughter at
Inappropriate jokes.

But most of all,
I say “I love you” with meaning
And without speaking.
By showing you my hands
As I gesture “I love you”
In a language that
Only we understand.

Question from Sarah P. from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 93 – Would You Memorise This Poem If Your True Love’s Life Depended On It?

If it meant that
Every word I had to say
Was another pulse of your
Heartbeat then I would talk until
My lungs gave out and my voice box breaks
Until all I can do is whisper a prayer on repeat
Because the only way I could let you die is if words themselves ran out.

If I had to
Memorise a poem to
Keep you safe and warm
Then I would write the most
Simple, precious and beautiful poem
With the most precious and beautiful words I know on repeat;
Your name.

Question from Michael Clark from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 83 – Do You Have Any Kinks?

I have a threesome every day
And I’ve been having threesomes
Every day for what seems like
My entire life.
I don’t expect you to know
What that feels like but
Let me tell you,
It’s exhausting.

It’s a constant barrage of
Twisting and tossing and turning
And pushing and pulling
And burning and biting
And clawing and cutting
In a never-ending search
For happiness.

A happiness that never comes,
Much like myself because
I am too generous,
I am on the receiving end of
Two toxic partners working
In discord and out of rhythm and harmony
To give me the best worst fucking
Of my life.

Partner A:
Definitely built for speed and not comfort
And when I say speed,
I don’t just mean in terms of firing rate.
I mean the drug, because
He lives at a million miles an hour,
Never slowing, taking me by the hand,
Taking me to the brink,
Taking me on a rollercoaster ride
Where there’s no safety bars,
Where there’s no speed limit,
Where there’s no means of self-preservation,
Only self-destruction and sado-masochism

Partner B:
They like to take it slow,
Painstakingly, mind numbingly slow.
And it’s not so much sensual
As it is sensory, with a blend of
Substance and pain,
Blood play and asphyxiation,
Everything is a threat and a challenge,
Like waking up or doing literally
Anything because she leaves a mark on me
Brandings of bites and bruises
And cuts and cigarette burns.
Like I’m her property.

My bedroom is a BDSM dungeon,
A Bipolar Disorder and Sadomasochism Dungeon,
Where I’m locked in my bed and my head
With two lovers who love to fuck me
At every given opportunity.
And it would be fine to
Take them one at a time,
Treat each of them with the right
Time, dedication and medication
But unfortunately, I often find
I’m locked in a situation where
They’re both fucking me at the same time,
Tearing my body and mind apart
With thoughts that cut like a knife
And fingernails that run
Over and under my skin.

I have a threesome every day
And I’ve been having threesomes
Every day for what seems like
My entire life.
I don’t expect you to know
What that feels like but
Let me tell you,
It’s exhausting.

Question from Michael Clark from Facebook

#PoeticAnswers 79 – Still?

You’d think after all this time
That things would change and
I wouldn’t feel the same.
It’s a shame that I couldn’t
Be like you or be liked by you
Or convince you to stay.
But much like the champagne
On our wedding day,
Our love fell flat and lost it’s fizz
As quickly as you lost interest.
Now all I do is invest my time
Looking at these photographs
Of a different life
As I wonder if everything
From the kisses and the smiles
Was just a lie.
I never saw you cry.
It was as though there was no
River of tears behind your eyes,
Just frozen lakes on frozen nights
And frozen in time, fixating
On never changing, fixating
On stopping, fixating on silence,
Building it like a fence to keep us apart
Because it was easier to feel nothing
Than to feel pain.
I wish I could feel the same
But there’s a fire in my heart and brain
That stops me from being as cold as you are.
And no matter how hard I try,
I cannot will my heart to stop,
Despite the torment and the
Blame game you played,
Playing me into taking the blame
For us drifting apart like
Falling stars from the night sky,
Falling into nothing and silence
And out of existence,
Despite your insistence and
The hurt and distance that
Lies between us,
Despite all of this,
Darling, yes.
I love you, still.

#PoeticAnswers 72 – Do Amoebas Feel Love?

Love is a divisive subject
Especially for amoebas.
They won’t look for love,
There’s no personal ad saying
“Single cell organism
Seeks single cell organism
For walks in the park”.
But they feel loneliness,
Forever single
Feeling locked in a prison cell,
Feeling sorry for itself
But still never looking for love
Because, to them,
There is no single selling point
To incite, entice or incentivise
Them into trying to
Spice up their lives.
They want love without the effort
So they’re split down the middle
But ultimately,
The single cell organism
Needs to learn to love itself first.

Question from Michael Clark from Facebook