Tag: addiction

NaPoWriMo Day 8

(Today’s poem is a surprise sequel to my magnum opus (ha!) “Dear Ms Pacman“)

I never gave you enough credit.
I poured my soul out on Reddit
I always thought it,
But I never said it:

Dear Ms Pacman, I love you.
And I’m sorry.

In the near perfect pie chart of our love
There was always a piece missing;
A missing slice, an open wound;
A hole that you could never fill,
So I became addicted to fruit and pills.
I began to chase ghosts
And run from the past
So I guess, overall, I was kind of an ass.

Dear Ms Pacman, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for ghosting you,
I treated you like you were a game,
You were supposed to be cherished
But instead I won you then threw you away,
Like something I could come back to i
If I had the time,
But now you’ve left and
There’s no changing your mind.

Dear Ms Pacman, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for treating love
Like something you can get a high score in.
You deserved so much more than me
But I wouldn’t set you free because
I was determined I could make you happy
And kept you beside me,
Tied in an emotional Gordian knot
Until you cut yourself free.
.
Dear Ms Pacman,
I’m sorry.

@ Emilie C.Black, 2020

#PoeticAnswers 37 – When Love Is Gone, Where Does It Go?

We thought it was a mutual agreement
When we were taking our hearts back.

Words fell like knives,
Sharp, precise, and exact,
Cutting the weights away from our souls.
Why waste our time letting love go to waste?

Your tears turned your eyes
Into stained-glass windows,
Tinted, tainted and crystalline
Never letting us see each other.
Or the truth.

I never broke your heart,
It was always kept safe,
Cushioned with silk and cottonbuds
And locked away in a box.
I was too afraid to break it,
So I never looked at it.

When you gave back my heart,
It was used and half empty.
Cracked and fractured,
Love leaking like
Tears too scared to fall.
Too afraid to be lost forever.

You always said
You could get drunk from me.
And though that may have been the case,
You didn’t like the taste.
I was the worst thing for you.

But you were my addict
And I didn’t want to be alone.
So we saw the world through rose-tinted glasses
Not knowing love and codependency
Were the same colour.

We never poured ourselves out to one another,
Maybe if we had, things would have been better.
Experience and taste each other,
Getting a flavour of sweet reality and real emotion,
Taking the time to find out what love is supposed to be.

Or maybe it would only make things worse.
Trapped in a vicious circle of reliance,
Wasting each other, taking us for granted.
Drinking to make ourselves feel better
Until we were both empty.

Until we were two glass hearts,
Afraid to beat because
Trying to love each other
Would only make us break.

When love is gone, it goes to waste.
But love wasn’t there.
We just wasted away instead.

Question from Katja P. from Facebook, and Arcade Fire.