(Yes, I’m a day behind again, leave me alone. For context, today’s poem is based on a genuine quote I heard when trying to milk in my city and features a LOT of slang/Scottishisms)
Dinnae buy almond milk,
It tastes like garden gnomes.
Coo isnae short for cashew, ken?
Cashew is just a noise rich folk make when they sneeze.
And I dinnae ken wit soya is,
Soya is wit I did yesterday when I was round yer hoose.
You cannae tell me that ye cannae milk a nut,
’cause that’s what yer ma wis daein’ last night.
© Emilie C Black, 2020
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